Tag Archives: old testament

1 Samuel 20-1 Samuel 23

1 Samuel 20-1 Samuel 23

David and Jonathan continue their gay relationship right under Saul’s nose.  Meanwhile Saul completely disregards his duties as king in order to chase David around the galaxy trying to kill him for no reason.

1 Samuel 16-1 Samuel 19

1 Samuel 16-1 Samuel 19

Me vs the bible is like David and Goliath.  The bible is this Goliath of shit, this monstrous piece of garbage, and I’m like David.  Except I really don’t think I could just throw a small stone at the problem and have it die instantly.  Alas.

1 Samuel 14-1 Samuel 15

1 Samuel 14-1 Samuel 15

We have a very famous reading which reminds me of the late, great Christopher Hitchens.  I miss him.  Who cares about this dumb book, Hitchens is gone, which sucks.  Anyway, some people are slaughtered, as per usual.

1 Samuel 7-1 Samuel 13

1 Samuel 7-1 Samuel 13

Samuel continues his fake reign as head god communicator person.  The Israelites really want a head boring idiot person to run their band of boring idiot people.  They call this hypothetical idiot a “king”.  This doesn’t sit well with Samuel.

1 Samuel 3-1 Samuel 6

1 Samuel 3-1 Samuel 6

God works in mysterious ways…  No I mean really mysterious ways.  Like think of the part of your body that you would like to be MOST mysterious to other people…  yeah that part.  God seriously violates that part of many people in this episode. Really.

Ruth 3-1 Samuel 2

Ruth 3-1 Samuel 2

Today we finish the charmingly boring tale of Ruth, then we move on to the charmingly boring tale of Samuel, some other loser priest.  Also, fck you, Rob.  You’re a total dck.  I suppose I should just ignore it but I think I’ll do the opposite.  Dck.

Judges 20 – Ruth 2

Judges 20 – Ruth 2

Don’t judge me but I’m pretty sick of this current book.  Good thing it’s OVA.  However, if you were hoping that Ruth would be the action packed superior sequel to Judges that Speed 2 was to Speed, you will be sorely disappointed…

Judges 17-19

Judges 17-19

Episode 60!  This is a weird one.  Also, really gruesome and sad.  I really can’t wait to get to a part of the bible with more substance though.  Pretty much nothing happens nothing happens then POW weird/horrible/gruesome story!

Judges 12-16

Judges 12-16

Samsonite… I was way off.  This reading has Samson and Delilah, the epic love story!  Except that it’s actually not so epic….  It is really quite hilarious how pathetic the actual story is, as told in the bible.  Tune in and find out!

Judges 9-11

Judges 9-11

Alright it’s already late so this description is going to be brief.  Pretty much this one is a tale of unprovoked, ridiculously over the top vows.  Fathers, never make them.