Well… someday something is going to happen in this here bible and you’ll feel awfully silly for not reading my descriptions anymore. Sadly, today is not that day. Nothing happens. Moses sucks and won’t die ever.
This is the worst pentatuke I’ve ever read. I can’t wait to move onto another pentatuke… or just anything else. This reading was pretty hilarious though. I’m starting to think maybe Moses made all of this up.
Screw this. This book is terrible. Freaking terrible.
And once again…. more repetition once again, repeatedly repeating himself is the repetitive Moses. Again and again he repeats himself like he is stuck on a loop of repeating, over and over, not able to stop the repetition.
Moses…. uh…. talks…. eh, never mind. Nothing to report. Come back later.
Apparently not realizing that he had already written about it 2 times in his ETERNAL book, Moses proceeds to summarize everything the Israelites have done…. again… in his eternal book…. which will be around forever… he repeated himself again…
Moses is still buying time; God details some very specific and curious plans for the land his people haven’t gotten around to stealing yet; women can marry whoever they want, provided who they want is their cousin.
Moses, being told he’s going to die after his people destroy the Midianites, proceeds to wage the slowest war ever conceived; God makes a killing off of killing; Moses is somehow STILL alive after all this, plus 40 years of wandering, much to our dismay.
Moses is in disbelief. You work with a guy 40 plus years and he stabs you in the back first chance he gets. I mean Moses went to god’s Christmas party every single year. Brought wine. Never came empty handed. And now this. You think you know a guy.
Well Bofur and Bifur have a little argument about whether or not they should kill the Israelites. God talks to one of them saying they shouldn’t, but somehow this can’t be communicated to the other. This is the entire reading in a nutshell. That’s it.