Tag Archives: jehovah

Numbers 14-17

Well I’m back but the more important question is where were you?  I was here.  Waiting for you to tell me to do a podcast.  Well somehow those Jews still don’t believe in Moses’s god after all the miracles and murders he has performed for them… Numbers 14-17

Numbers 10-13

Numbers 10-13

God gives Moses and the Jews a few trumpets to sound whenever they are in trouble which will save them (how has that been working?); god lights a few troublemakers on fire because why not; Moses was a special needs child; BONUS!  More names!  YES!

Numbers 7-9

Numbers 7-9

Today’s reading was very repetitive.  First I read chapter 7, and it was repetitive.  Then I read chapter 8, and it was repetitive.  Then I read chapter 9, and it was repetitive.  I read chapters 7,8, and 9, and they were very repetitive.  Repetitive.

Numbers 4-6

Numbers 4-6

God still seems interested in talking to Moses even though Moses brings nothing to the conversation; Moses and Co. face a devastating badger shortage; also “devastating badger shortage” is redundant.

Numbers 1-3

Numbers 1-3

And once again… I’M BACK!  God is back to his incredibly dull and repetitive ways as we start a very mysteriously named book.  As page after page of infallible scripture goes by, we are left with one soul wrenching question about it, which is WHO CARES!

Leviticus 26-27

Leviticus 26-27

God rattles off punishment after punishment to expect if the chosen people decide to unchoose themselves.  Meanwhile a wearied Moses wonders why he still bothers to listen to the old cook.  He could have been somebody….

Leviticus 18-21

Leviticus 18-21

Hey Moses, it’s God.  You got a minute?  Yeah I just thought of a bunch more crap you can’t do.  Grab a pen.  The bible makes the incredibly profound moral declaration that we cannot have sex with any of our relatives.  I’m so glad he told us that.

Leviticus 12-14

Leviticus 12-14

I’m BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!@$!%)#~!1`471289!  This was fun.  Let’s do it again next week.  Oh a summary, you ask?  Well not really anything happened.  There was a bit about how disgusting women are after they give birth, and then a lot about leprosy.  A LOT…

Leviticus 1-3

Leviticus 1-3

Starting Leviticus!  Yay!  It’s out of the gates fast with the great home recipes for your very own animal sacrifice!  These high fat, high cholesterol sacrificial recipes will please even your most angry god, and of course the priests take their cut…

Exodus 36-40

Exodus 36-40

I can’t even tell you what happens in this podcast.  No really.  It’s too painful.  Just imagine the worst possible thing that could ever happen to a podcast.  Yeah, that’s what happened in this one.  I want to punch Moses in the face harder than possible