Well I’m back but the more important question is where were you? I was here. Waiting for you to tell me to do a podcast. Well somehow those Jews still don’t believe in Moses’s god after all the miracles and murders he has performed for them… Numbers 14-17
God gives Moses and the Jews a few trumpets to sound whenever they are in trouble which will save them (how has that been working?); god lights a few troublemakers on fire because why not; Moses was a special needs child; BONUS! More names! YES!
Today’s reading was very repetitive. First I read chapter 7, and it was repetitive. Then I read chapter 8, and it was repetitive. Then I read chapter 9, and it was repetitive. I read chapters 7,8, and 9, and they were very repetitive. Repetitive.
God still seems interested in talking to Moses even though Moses brings nothing to the conversation; Moses and Co. face a devastating badger shortage; also “devastating badger shortage” is redundant.
This bible is so boring, even the person writing it down starting looking for other things to write about. Also if murdering kids is wrong, then the bible certainly doesn’t want to be right. And can you blame it?
Hey Moses, it’s God. You got a minute? Yeah I just thought of a bunch more crap you can’t do. Grab a pen. The bible makes the incredibly profound moral declaration that we cannot have sex with any of our relatives. I’m so glad he told us that.
Women: have you ever wondered what that liquid evil that comes out of your secret place is? Well, we men of the biblical era don’t know and don’t want to know. Just please don’t sit on any of the good chairs! This and more wisdom in today’s reading!
I’m BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!@$!%)#~!1`471289! This was fun. Let’s do it again next week. Oh a summary, you ask? Well not really anything happened. There was a bit about how disgusting women are after they give birth, and then a lot about leprosy. A LOT…
If I had a dime for every time the bible repeated itself I would be one rich dude. God shamelessly murders two of his followers for nothing; I really can’t get a handle for why god sometimes just leaves crap alone, but other times he shoots to kill…
This podcast ruled. It was so good you won’t even understand what just happened to you. Oh also nothing happened in the readings. It just went over a million different reasons to sacrifice cows. Stupid. But anyway, I was awesome.