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Numbers 4-6

Numbers 4-6

God still seems interested in talking to Moses even though Moses brings nothing to the conversation; Moses and Co. face a devastating badger shortage; also “devastating badger shortage” is redundant.

Numbers 1-3

Numbers 1-3

And once again… I’M BACK!  God is back to his incredibly dull and repetitive ways as we start a very mysteriously named book.  As page after page of infallible scripture goes by, we are left with one soul wrenching question about it, which is WHO CARES!

Leviticus 26-27

Leviticus 26-27

God rattles off punishment after punishment to expect if the chosen people decide to unchoose themselves.  Meanwhile a wearied Moses wonders why he still bothers to listen to the old cook.  He could have been somebody….

Leviticus 22-25

Leviticus 22-25

This bible is so boring, even the person writing it down starting looking for other things to write about.  Also if murdering kids is wrong, then the bible certainly doesn’t want to be right.  And can you blame it?

Leviticus 18-21

Leviticus 18-21

Hey Moses, it’s God.  You got a minute?  Yeah I just thought of a bunch more crap you can’t do.  Grab a pen.  The bible makes the incredibly profound moral declaration that we cannot have sex with any of our relatives.  I’m so glad he told us that.

Leviticus 15-17

Leviticus 15-17

Women: have you ever wondered what that liquid evil that comes out of your secret place is?  Well, we men of the biblical era don’t know and don’t want to know.  Just please don’t sit on any of the good chairs!  This and more wisdom in today’s reading!

Leviticus 12-14

Leviticus 12-14

I’m BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!@$!%)#~!1`471289!  This was fun.  Let’s do it again next week.  Oh a summary, you ask?  Well not really anything happened.  There was a bit about how disgusting women are after they give birth, and then a lot about leprosy.  A LOT…

Big New Schedule Announcement!

Hey everyone.

After some schedule changes and stuff, I realized that it’s going to be impossible for me to maintain the 5 ep a week schedule.  I think I got a bit excited about the idea and got a little overzealous.  I really do want to continue at this pace and finish in a year, but I have to realize it’s not going to be possible.

So, I am going to have to cut it down to a weekly episode.  That’s right, it will now take the rest of my natural life to get through this whole thing.  I could see upping this to two episodes a week, possibly.. but I think this will be for the best though, because I won’t have to rush the episode to keep it at like 30-45 minutes.  Since it’s only one a week, I can take my sweet time.  If this kills anyone, let me know.  Feel free to comment here and tell me this is ruining your life.

Thanks a lot and I’ll see you with a fresh episode soon, I promise.

Leviticus 8-11

Leviticus 8-11

If I had a dime for every time the bible repeated itself I would be one rich dude.  God shamelessly murders two of his followers for nothing;  I really can’t get a handle for why god sometimes just leaves crap alone, but other times he shoots to kill…

Leviticus 4-7

Leviticus 4-7

This podcast ruled.  It was so good you won’t even understand what just happened to you.  Oh also nothing happened in the readings.  It just went over a million different reasons to sacrifice cows.  Stupid.  But anyway, I was awesome.