Judges 6-8

More of the exact same crap that happens every stupid page of this dumb book.  Can’t even think of a reason to write any more creative a description than that.

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Judges 2-5

I’m back again again again for the ninth time.  Well Joshua has decided to die again, and the lord is going to teach all those scheming Israelites a lesson by sort of punishing them, then rewarding them the minute they complain, then repeating.

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Joshua 22-Judges 1

Long live Joshua, the one who died so quickly!  Dr. Joshua Kavorkian put us out of our misery quite mercifully.  Also, we’re starting a new book!  So far it reads like a bible but hopefully that will change.

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Joshua 19-21

In this short installment, nothing.  Well some things but you’ll have to listen to find out.  Not that I’m trying to make it suspenseful or something but I truly have already forgotten what happened.  Drugs.

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Joshua 14-18

Jesus mother of Moses, Joshua has lost it.  I seriously wonder if Moses came back from the dead and wrote this part.  Joshua went from 60-0 in 2 seconds.  Unbelievable.  I might lose my audience because god made his bible so bad.  Touche, sir.

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Joshua 10-13

Well it was a full day of murdering for the Israelites so I certainly hope they ate a good breakfast. Sometimes it’s really hard to maintain the level of killing necessary to please Yahweh without your hacking arm getting a little fatigued. Eat bananas.

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Joshua 7-9

Another episode of your favorite goofy, mass murdering Israelites! What will they think of next! Hijinks for this episode include luring an entire army out of a city to burn it down from within, and then murder every man woman and child! OMG, pranked!

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Joshua 2-6

I now worship at the alter of Joshua.  This book is SUCH a relief so far.  You’ll never even believe what happens….  You’ll never guess….  go ahead, try….  nope, wrong.  SOMETHING.  That’s it.  That’s what happened.  I know!

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Deuteronomy 32-Joshua 1

This is it…. the episode we’ve all been waiting for…. FINALLY it’s here… if you don’t know what I’m talking about, I envy you because that means you haven’t been plagued by the wretchedness that is what I’m talking about right now at this very moment

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